im so fucking scared my friends have no idea ! ive only told 3 people and 3 i trust most . i wanted this to happen but now that it is ive never been more scared in my life … my moms getting brain surgery . most ppl might not think its a big deal but when its ur mom u think of everything that could go wrong. theres been sooo many night where i cry myself to sleep wondering what if she doesnt make it ill have no one my life will be over .  just think about it makes me cry . if it works life will be amazing ! but if it doesnt … who will i talk to at night ? who will help me wiht my problems ? who will teach me how to paint ? i think about this everyday . and its starting to effect me sometimes i just wish i could talk to someone about it sometimes i wsh ppl would ask me how i feel about this. just to know that i have someone .

y r people so fucking stupid and ignorant ? it pisses me off !! they think their lives r sooooooooo  bad bc they guy they like doesnt like them back !! who the fuck cares ! ur 13 and ur trying to find someone to love !! i dont think love is even possible at this age ! fucking idiots ! i have friends that cut bc of a bot they cut if they dont talk to him that day ! fuck that ! if he doesnt like u, u dont go and cut ur self u find a new guy to like or keep trying to get him to like u !!!!! and u say its not about attention ? then y the fuck do u tell EVERYONE !!!!!! u have a fucking perfect life u say its soooo bad but its fucking not !!! do u ever ask me about my problems !? NO ! thats right u dont care that my mom has a disease !! did u know she cant even braid my hair anymore bc by the end of the night she can barly move ?!?!?!?! thats right u didnt . bc ur sooo worried about 1 fucking guy that doesnt like u !!! she can barly fold clothes ! her shoulder hurts her constantly ! it hurts me seeing her . sometimes i cry myself to sleep . and my fucking cousin im not even gonna talk about him ! but the worst thing in ur life is ur step moms a bitch -_- get over it . i have way more reasons to cut then u ever will !!! but i dont bc it makes things sooo much worse ! im done helping u . u just want attention . and im done listening to u go on about how bad ur life is ! and when u tell me awwe muffin i feel like saying awwwe muffin he doesnt like ! fuck u . im done .